Chelsea’s ‘Special Coach’ – park it over there mate!

Jose Mourinho has an obvious affinity with large passenger transport vehicles. He is very adept at parking buses and, in his capacity as a coach, the removal of his teeth would ordinarily accommodate 52 seats.

Silence is golden - Manuel and the boys achieved the impossible - keeping Maureen's gob shut!

Silence is golden – Manuel and the boys achieved the impossible – keeping Maureen’s gob shut!

But for once – sadly, probably just the once – Jose is keeping his poisonous ‘Norf & Sarf’ shut. The self-proclaimed ‘Special One’ is in a strop and seeking to perpetuate the myth that his Chelsea team are being victimised by all and sundry.

Notwithstanding the media corps who kiss his putrid Portuguese backside and hang on his every word, the snide, sneering one has taken it upon himself to play hooky with the press.

Jose is sulking and doesn’t want to come out to play. In a similar fashion, Manchester City didn’t allow his supposedly all-conquering team ‘out of their room’ throughout the second half at Stamford Bridge.

Right up your nose - The Snide One was rather snotty, ignoring the media after Chelsea escaped with a 1-1 draw.

Right up your nose – The Snide One was rather snotty, ignoring the media after Chelsea escaped with a 1-1 draw.

Manuel Pellegrini – the antithesis of moaning Maureen – summed up the mood of the champions declaring that it ‘…was not a good point at Stamford Bridge…’ because ‘City came for the win from the first minute…’

Never a truer word was spoken by City’s cool Chilean leader, as his side shrugged off the disappointments of consecutive 2-0 defeats to Arsenal and Middlesbrough, to come within a whisker of beating Chelski.

The Sky commentary team, pundits and the media masses whinged relentlessly that the poor Chelsea darlings must have been tired after their Tuesday night ‘run out’ with Liverpool. And of course, Dirty Diego was busy being sanitised on the sidelines with the injured Fabregas.

Trusted Engineer - Pellegrini fine tuned his City machine at Stamford Bridge. Courtesy@MCFC

Trusted Engineer – Pellegrini fine tuned his City machine at Stamford Bridge. Courtesy@MCFC

City were missing Yaya, Nasri and the anticipated goals of new signing Wilfried Bony. They’d also been without key players Aguero, Silva, Dzeko and Kompany for prolonged periods this season, but it warranted little more than a throwaway line.

Pellegrini and City did their talking on the pitch and were clearly superior. Jose’s charabanc shenanigans were perfectly illustrated by his substitution of goal scorer Remy for centre back Cahill.

According to Match of the Day pundit Danny Murphy, Maureen wasn’t being negative he was being ‘clever’. Pragmatic – maybe, fearful – most definitely!

Sergio-no - Aguero came close to giving City a first half lead. Courtesy@MCFC

Sergio-no – Aguero came close to giving City a first half lead. Courtesy@MCFC

Can you imagine if Pellegrini adopted the same mentality at the Etihad, bringing Aguero off and sending on Boyata – the media would have crucified him!

On the subject of crosses, Jesus came to the party as Navas had one of his finest games for City. Not quite City’s saviour, but an excellent showing.

He fired in the cross that had the usually reliable Courtois flapping as James Milner raced into the 18-yard box. The Belgian keeper parried the ball only as far as Aguero, whose low drive was deflected into the gaping Chelsea net by the immaculate Silva.

City’s deserved equaliser on the stroke of half time cancelled out Remy’s opener just four minutes prior.

Seventh Heaven - David Silva's 7th goal of the season put City back on level terms. Courtesy@MCFC

Seventh Heaven – David Silva’s 7th goal of the season put City back on level terms. Courtesy@MCFC

A fluent Chelsea attack – sorry, make that Chelsea’s only fluent attack – saw Hazard hit a perfectly weighted volley cross into the stand-in striker’s path for an easy score from three yards out.

A despairing Kompany was slow to react and couldn’t intercept for fear of scoring an own goal.

It was one of only two Chelsea shots on target as the home side were limited to three attempts in total – their worst figures since 2003 – and this against a much maligned City rearguard, constantly disrupted by injuries and plagued with indecision in recent weeks.

The po-faced Portuguese reptile became increasingly animated on the touchline as the ‘master tactician’ saw his team retreat, retreat and then retreat a bit more. City were hunting the three points that would blow the title race wide open.

Oscar winning performance - And the award goes to Fernandinho in the 'Tale of Two Brazilians'. Courtesy@MCFC

Oscar winning performance – And the award goes to Fernandinho in the ‘Tale of Two Brazilians’. Courtesy@MCFC

Unquestionably the moral victors, City had to settle for just the one point, but with 45 still up for grabs, the Sky Blues will take huge encouragement from the manner of the draw.

City have weathered a chronic list of injuries in the first half of the season, whereas Chelsea have been very fortunate in keeping key players out of harm’s way.

It’s only going to take one Chelsea defeat and a draw and City could be back on level pegging. On this performance, City have rediscovered their passion, desire and confidence that they can retain the title.

Aguero and Silva linked well as the spearhead, whereas Navas and Milner worked tirelessly in all areas of the pitch with verve and conviction.

Dynamic duo - David & Sergio had Chelsea on the ropes. Courtesy@MCFC

Dynamic duo – David & Sergio had Chelsea on the ropes. Courtesy@MCFC

The intensity and work ethic, so scandalously lacking since the turn of the year was back, and what a difference it made.

Bacary Sagna was a surprise inclusion for Pablo Zabaleta, albeit the Argentine legend hasn’t been at his best for a few games.

Clichy was outstanding and seems to have consigned Kolarov to the bench for the foreseeable future.

The imperious Martin Demichelis was there alongside skipper Vincent Kompany who, while still not back to his best, was a damned sight better than in the two recent 2-0 reversals.

Cause for concern - Fernando is struggling to adjust to the demands of the Premier League. Courtesy@MCFC

Cause for concern – Fernando is struggling to adjust to the demands of the Premier League. Courtesy@MCFC

Fernandinho was his usual industrious self and could have been on the score sheet, had he made a better connection with a second half header.

This was a very palatable City performance, the only disappointment being Fernando who continues to struggle with the pace of the Premier League.

One can only hope it’s a period of adjustment for the Brazilian/Portuguese defensive midfielder, but at times he appears like an unintelligent drug addict – always caught in possession.

Embracing the moment - Super Frankie got to grips with former team mate Branislav Ivanovic. Courtesy@MCFC

Embracing the moment – Super Frankie got to grips with former team mate Branislav Ivanovic. Courtesy@MCFC

Pellegrini and Txiki Begiristain pursued Fernando over a prolonged period before he eventually signed from Porto for £12m – they must have seen something in him. One can only hope it becomes apparent to the rest of us sooner rather than later.

At the risk of being branded a heretic, even referee Mark Clattenburg (he’ll always be Twattenburg to me) had a decent game, not screwing City blind in his usual fashion.

Yellow peril - Silva was booked by Clattenburg, Matic wasn't! Bloody ridiculous! Courtesy@MCFC

Yellow peril – Silva was booked by Clattenburg, Matic wasn’t! Bloody ridiculous! Courtesy@MCFC

He did, however, book Fernando and Silva when Ramires and Matic were far more deserving of seeing yellow.

The introduction of Super Frankie Lampard for Fernando in the 77th minute was greeted with widespread applause, although some Neanderthals saw fit to boo the returning Chelsea hero.

Respect is such a virtue in any walk of life and a warm, hearty handshake is an excellent way of conveying it man-to-man.

It’s a shame that Mourinho elected to greet Lamps with a half-hearted effort whilst looking in the opposite direction. Still, what should we expect from a man who believes eye-gouging to be an acceptable touch line habit?

Lack of respect - Mourinho is a classless individual.

Lack of respect – Mourinho is a classless individual.

Sticking a thumb in the eyes of your opponent falls outside of the Queensbury Rules, but Chelsea didn’t lay a glove on the champions in the last 55 minutes – not one attempt on target.

Watched by a global audience of 650 million – the 2014 Superbowl attracted 115 million viewers – City are big box office nowadays. The Battle of the Bridge attracted a record number of international broadcasters – 24 in total.

The previous record – 19 – was set in April 2012 when City beat Manure 1-0 en-route to the title. There’s an interesting common denominator in there and it’s extremely sky blue.

Global appeal - City are big box office around the world with 650 million viewers watching the game with Chelsea. Courtesy @MCFC

Global appeal – City are big box office around the world with 650 million viewers watching the game with Chelsea. Courtesy @MCFC

Clearly City are moving through the gears both on and off the field of play. Jose, on the other hand, is slamming on the handbrake and ensuring the security lock is on the steering wheel.

#TrustOurMP

By David Walker

www.readbutneverred.com @ReadButNeverRed @djwskyblu

40 Comments

  1. February 1, 2015  6:42 pm by John galloway Reply

    Spot on again,lets hope Arsenal&Borro are well and truly behind us.

    • February 1, 2015  7:01 pm by David Walker Reply

      Hope, Faith & no more Charity to the opposition - we can retain this title! ;-)

  2. February 1, 2015  6:47 pm by Avadu Reply

    Has Mr Pelligrini beaten Chelsea under Jose yet? just checking.

  3. February 1, 2015  6:48 pm by James HouseOlogy Reply

    Classy David. I said before this game after Gooners and woeful performance against Boro, this would be perfect for us to reinstate ourselves, and 10/10 for that.... We were exceptional albeit Vinny and Kun still not 100% but couple more games & get the feeling they will be..... And with the return of Yaya, Bony, Nasri on the horizon I think the teams gears are truly stepping up as you say, and Maureen Know's it!!! We perform like this onwards... We'll have no more problems!! My trust in MP restored, now to be maintained

    • February 1, 2015  6:59 pm by David Walker Reply

      Nice sentiments JHO #TrustOurMP ;-)

  4. February 1, 2015  6:54 pm by AMOS Reply

    THATS ALL YOU CAN WRITE. NO SENSE OF DIRECTION. HATER. KEEP YOUR HATE TO YOURSELF. YOUR HEART WILL ALWAYS BLEED. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND FOOTBALL

    • February 1, 2015  7:08 pm by David Walker Reply

      Hate? I love Jose...I love seeing him squirm, I love seeing him snarl when things don't go his way, I love seeing his adolescent attitude when people don't pander to his desires, I love seeing Pellegrini wipe that smug look off his faces (both of them) blimey, the list is endless, it's just one big love-in with Maureen. As for direction it's upwards with MCFC. As for my heart it has bled in the past and will doubtless bleed in the future. And finally...I don't understand football...can you run that offside thingymeejig past me again...if the salt pot is near the pepper pot but not beyond the tomato ketchup bottle...

    • February 1, 2015  10:37 pm by Toby Teasdale Reply

      David's heart, like mine will always bleed sky blue.

      'YOU DONT UNDERSTAND FOOTBALL'. You know even less about the game than your mate Kingfish.

      • February 1, 2015  10:41 pm by David Walker Reply

        It's rather amusing when the Chelsea fans adopt the same 'mentality' as their beloved leader. There won't be much room left on the naughty step at this rate and they'll all scwean and scweam and scweam until they're sick if they don't get their own way...and they can you know! Cheers TT.

  5. February 1, 2015  7:14 pm by Doug Henshaw Reply

    Nice piece Dave but you do seem to attract some strange people (Amos?????) Much improved performance we were unlucky not take 3pts. Shame only one team wanted to win if we had gone & done what Maureen did the media would of been all over us. Remember what he said about Spurs & West Ham when they parked the bus in games against Chelsea but guess it's different now
    Onwards & upwards now hopefully.

    • February 1, 2015  10:03 pm by David Walker Reply

      The only Amos I can ever recall is some old geezer in Emmerdale when I was knee high to a grass hopper and my old Ma used to watch it. But hey, it takes all sorts, better to be read than ignored! Putting aside the wind ups about Maureen, City can take great heart from this fixture as can Chelsea's future opponents. I can see them dropping the necessary points as we go on a surge to back-to-back titles.

  6. February 1, 2015  7:27 pm by fiavi King Reply

    In a million years your pelligrini cannot achieve the honours Jose has amassed in four different countries. City huffed and puffed but could not defeat a Chelsea team that was not just exhausted after a draining 120minutes but that was missing the leagues best creator and scorer. Shame on you. Last season when Jose needed to get a result at the etihad he did it in a classic manner taking city to the cleaners. Jose is a man of all seasons. He knows what to do when is needed as opposed to the non achieving naive pel who thinks there is only one way to win. Jose is the best manager in the world. Period.

    • February 1, 2015  10:11 pm by David Walker Reply

      The finest creator was on the pitch, yes, he's Spanish and he's known as Merlin and he's the guy dear old Cesc has to play second fiddle to on international duty. Why were the poor little lambs exhausted - doesn't Jose keep them fit, how embarrassing for a set of 'professional' footballers. Jose is a man past his sell by date, that's why he did a runner from Real, he'd been rumbled. He was quite amusing when he first arrived in England but now the joke is on him as he believes his own ridiculous publicity. You are genuinely welcome to him - give me a man of integrity, honour and no little ability over a snide, sneering snake of a man. It's surprising he hasn't poisoned himself if he's ever bitten his lip.

  7. February 1, 2015  7:33 pm by fiavi King Reply

    And by the way analysin your write up shows how obsessed u r with Jose. He will dethrone u this- in fact, you owe your fluke title last year to Jose pragmatically stopping Liverpool at an field. U should show some gratitude. Especially a small team that in spite of the hundreds of millions can still not even make a quarter finals of champions league. A feat Chelsea made very regularly over the last decade. Tells u its not just money but class and character which you anaemic blues cannot have. Chelsea are the real blues.

    • February 1, 2015  10:14 pm by David Walker Reply

      Oh the irony as you put the words 'class' and 'Chelsea' in the same sentence. You couldn't make it up ;-)

  8. February 1, 2015  7:52 pm by Ifeka Reply

    Chelsea were simply tired from the Liverpool game. Yes maureen as u said went for the draw, but you can't deny he has beaten mp on more occasions. But that's the beauty of the bpl.

    • February 1, 2015  10:16 pm by David Walker Reply

      Jose is a very successful football manager, there's no denying it. He is also a self obsessed arrogant shit - there's no denying it ;-)

  9. February 1, 2015  7:56 pm by Mark Reply

    This blog is the reason I don't buy tabloids. Precise and to the point. It occurred to me early today whilst watching the Sunday supplement. How much these idiots in the media miss his press conference, so much so, that they did nothing but praise Chelsea and hardly mentioned City's effort to win the game. Another fool happens to be Martin Tyler, who basically claimed during the game, that we weren't putting enough effort in to win it. What this moron surely realises, whilst we tried to win the game, it was just as important not to lose a goal to a bunch of cowards on the break. I agree 5 pts is nothing. And if we can get Nasri Yaya and Bony back pretty soon, they're is no reason why we can't go on a similar run to the recent one we've just had

    • February 1, 2015  10:19 pm by David Walker Reply

      The media masses are all too often an embarrassment to themselves. You only have to listen to their inane questions at press conferences, I bet MP thinks why do I have to put up with this bunch of buffoons? Sadly the press and Sky are riddled with sychophants all with their own warped anti-MCFC agendas. Fck 'em, let MCFC do their talking on the pitch and in the communities the club seeks to support. Thanks Mark.

  10. February 1, 2015  8:14 pm by Mark Shaw Reply

    I think it's quite clever tactics from Mourinho that he has had to resort to acting like a spoilt, petulant child as it takes the focus away from his terribly grim style of football which has been witnessed against City in the last few City v Chelsea games. He really is the spoilt rich kid who complains it's everyone else's fault he's and never his own when he doesn't get his way.

    He spent the whole 94 minutes yesterday trying to get under Pellegrini's skin (When he wasn't chuntering to the 4th official) to no avail and that would have just made him angrier, which in itself is just comical and you can just imagine the temper tantrums that will cause him to have.

    He's quickly becoming even more of a figure of ridicule and to think there were once City fans that thought he was the answer to our prayers when Mancini went. I just thank whatever deity that we never got him and got a man of class and dignity in Mr Pellegrini

    • February 1, 2015  10:23 pm by David Walker Reply

      Hear hear - that'll do for me Mr Shaw! Chelsea fans actually believe we are envious of the having Mourinho as their manager. MP is indeed as class act and long may it remain that way. However, if as and when MP moves on and if Pep rolls in I can see Mourinho running off to the national job...no, not Portugal, more like National Coaches!

      • February 1, 2015  10:46 pm by Toby Teasdale Reply

        'I can see Mourinho running off to the national job...no, not Portugal, more like National Coaches!'

        Excellent idea. If he can park them, he can surely drive them.

  11. February 1, 2015  8:52 pm by horace blimp Reply

    Nice to see some Chelsea "fans" on here , I wonder if they were amongst the knuckle dragging racists who infested the bridge in the 70s/80s ? Maureen is fast turning into a busted flush - ask any Real Madrid fans about his "pedigree" and they will laugh in your face - he blew the title last season and if yesterday is anything to go by, will do it again this year. Of course failure for him this year will result in Romans curly finger for the King of Negativity - I cannot wait!!

    • February 1, 2015  10:27 pm by David Walker Reply

      Well, if Chelsea fans want to read a Man City blog they are more than welcome to be educated. Mourinho's best days are behind him while Manchester City's still lie ahead. Thanks for reading and commenting.

  12. February 1, 2015  10:21 pm by alloy Reply

    Chelsea for life the Epl is for the real blues not the fake Man city blue..

    • February 1, 2015  10:29 pm by David Walker Reply

      With a name like alloy you'll be all too easily tarnished, but then again, you could come in handy when the wheels come off the Chelsea bus. Cheers fella.

      • February 1, 2015  10:43 pm by Toby Teasdale Reply

        I think it's short for Alloy's. Wheel (sorry) be hearing from his brother 'hub cap' next.

  13. February 1, 2015  11:30 pm by Toby Teasdale Reply

    David thanks for your entertaining post. It seems to have drawn a number of chavs trolls from beneath their 'Bridge'. Appropriate name eh what?

    City dominated from start to finish. A great effort, with Sagna and Navas excelling.

    I think Manuel now has Mourinho (who likes to get his excuses in early) sussed. It seems Maureen's boys were suffering from exhaustion, poor darlings. Brenda's lot managed to do the business yesterday, and their squad really is paper thin.

    Nice to see the reception Lampard received from his old fans (the churlish Mourinho and the idiot with the hand written Lampard is a traitor placard, apart).

    Funny old world!

    • February 1, 2015  11:33 pm by David Walker Reply

      I do try TT - Mrs W says I am 'very trying'.

  14. February 1, 2015  11:50 pm by Suzy B Reply

    Lovely, entertaining and skillful work David, you are one of the best writers in the country currently.

    • February 2, 2015  7:53 am by David Walker Reply

      That's a very generous comment - thankyou. I'm sure there are thousands who would vehemently disagree, certainly some who don't even have the common decency to reply to a bona fide application to work for an organisation close to one's heart. Thanks again x.

  15. February 2, 2015  6:19 am by goonermichael Reply

    Funny to read chelsea and class in the same sentence. The comments from their fans show how much class they have. I watched the game. It was quite boring for a neutral but then maureen generally plays negative, boring football. We seem to be coming into form and have most of our players back. I think we'll run you close.

    • February 2, 2015  7:49 am by David Walker Reply

      Fair comment Michael, hopefully that means you will also be running the Chavs close because I'm convinced we're going to bridge that gap. Likewise we should have all our players fit and ready once this bloody AFCON 2015 is over, and now we're out of the Mickey Mouse Cups we'll go for the big prizes ;-) just a slight whiff of irony!

  16. February 2, 2015  6:54 am by horace blimp Reply

    Spot on about Arsenal, bang in form at a crucial time of the season. Wenger did a job on City 2 weeks ago and Maureen basically filled his trousers and went safety first. Huge difference

    • February 2, 2015  7:50 am by David Walker Reply

      That might explain why Jose looked so miffed in the second half - his incontinence pants must have split.

  17. February 2, 2015  8:32 am by goonermichael Reply

    Can't stand chelsea and maureen. I had a seat next to 9000 of their fans in the league cup last season. Worst game I've ever been to. I don't think any of them watched the game. They just spent the whole time abusing us. Can't stand cesc either. He fits in well there. I don't understand the love some gooners have for him. I have more respect for Nasri. He never forced his way out or refused to play. In the last few years we've started well and slumped or started badly and finished strong.

    • February 2, 2015  9:04 am by David Walker Reply

      They don't endear themselves to many outside of SW6 do they? Hopefully we've had our little slump and we're ready to go again. To the victor the spoils!

  18. February 2, 2015  11:55 am by Richard Cooper Reply

    The fact Jose substituted 2 forwards for the blue bus says in a few words how that game in the second half was going.
    There were some good commited performances out there with a special mention for Milner and Navas (or SatNav as the guy behind us kept calling him.
    Are Clichy and Demichelis 2 of the best value for money players in the Premier League ?
    City could and should have won it but I would have taken a draw on Saturday morning.
    Being on the front row we got a different view of the game than usual because I thought Fernando played his best game for a long time and as you know I haven't been his biggest fan !
    The City team were in the front coaches on the train back - and a few people enjoying the amber nectar and singing about the Sheikh going to Wales on a shetland pony thought they could get past the City security staff - As if !!
    15 games left and providing City maintain that level of performance (especially at home) the title race is still on.

    • February 2, 2015  1:03 pm by David Walker Reply

      Great comments and insight RC - thanks. It probably says a lot about Fernando if that was one of his best performances this season. I want him to come good but he needs to go up a couple of gears.

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