You’re an embarrassment – The Madness of Mourinho – Man City 3 Chelsea 0

The polarization between two managers and their clubs was never more prominent than in the aftermath of Manchester City’s stylish 3-0 demolition of Chelsea.

Poles apart - Thank goodness City have Pellegrini at the helm and not Mourinho. Courtesy@MCFC

Poles apart – Thank goodness City have Pellegrini at the helm and not Mourinho. Courtesy@MCFC

It was a day that saw the Premier League champions lose more than the three points on offer.

They lost their composure on the field but, more tellingly, thanks to the antics of Jose Mourinho and the official Chelsea website, they lost their dignity and defiled the name of their club.

Whincing Mourinho - Yes, it hurts when you get walloped doesn't it Jose?

Whincing Mourinho – Yes, it hurts when you get walloped doesn’t it Jose?

City, in sharp contrast, served up a feast of incisive attacking intent, overwhelming the opposition, while the usually understated Manuel Pellegrini displayed animated pitch-side passion – much to the delight of a record 54,331 Etihad crowd.

The magnificently extended 3rd tier of the South Stand symbolised City’s towering performance which left Jose babbling away, as if en-route to the Chelsea Pensioners’ Home for the Bewildered.

Standing proud - City's magnificent extended South Stand. Courtesy@MCFC

Standing proud – City’s magnificent extended South Stand. Courtesy@MCFC

What other conclusion are we supposed to draw from a creature who labelled the 3-0 drubbing as ‘a fake result’ and claimed his half time tactical substitution of Chelsea skipper John Terry, was ‘proven right’ when his team haemorrhaged two goals in JT’s absence.

Moanrinho said he was ‘…happy with the 2nd half’ asserting that Chelsea totally controlled City. If shipping two goals and scoring none is The Special One’s idea of ‘control’ then long may it continue.

In a laughable showcase of his worst personal traits, the Portuguese prat spat out his post-match observations amid a fog of graceless self delusion.

Animated passion - MP embodied the spirit and purpose of his team. Courtesy@MCFC

Animated passion – MP embodied the spirit and purpose of his team. Courtesy@MCFC

Those gathered in City Square, along with millions of households and bars around the globe, will surely be clamouring for this year’s must-have Christmas DVD – ‘Comedy King Joking Jose does Stand Up’ – it certainly caused wild amusement among the locals.

Even funnier was to come in the shape of an incredible match report on the official Chelsea website, one which could have come from any best-selling North Korean propagandist.

It starts: ‘A Ramires goal incorrectly ruled out for offside with Man City a goal ahead changed the complexion of this early-season Premier League fixture.’

Creating a stink - Moanrinho and the official Chelsea FC website have stunk the place out with their undignified response to City's 3-0 win.

Creating a stink – Moanrinho and the official Chelsea FC website have stunk the place out with their undignified response to City’s 3-0 win.

Other ‘nuggets’ include:

We dominated after the interval and after Ramires’s goal was disallowed, Hazard drew a fine stop from Joe Hart. Two late City goals, from Vincent Kompany and Fernandinho, added some gloss to a final scoreline which did not accurately reflect the bigger picture…’

‘Before the break, Diego Costa was on the receiving end of a brutish aerial challenged from Fernandinho who followed his skipper into the book…’

‘On the other side of the pitch, Mangala resorted to WWE-style tactics to stop the ever-dangerous Diego Costa getting free down the right…’

Deluded - Even the Daily Fail condemned the Official Chelsea website's Etihad match report.

Deluded – Even the Daily Fail condemned the Official Chelsea website’s Etihad match report.

It concludes: ‘Diego Costa hit the post in time added on and Hart was in the right place to block Hazard’s follow-up effort. It epitomised what had been a game of very fine margins.’–manchester-city-v-chelsea-.html

Impressive - All things MCFC - The South Stand, supporters, players, manager, coaches, tea lady etc etc. Courtesy@MCFC

Impressive – All things MCFC – The South Stand, supporters, players, manager, coaches, tea lady etc etc. Courtesy@MCFC

Such a hilarious and ridiculous interpretation of events at the Etihad has even been derided by the mainstream sports press, those not normally given to criticising the great unwashed of Stamford Bridge.

And while City’s sublime skills, with goals from Sergio Aguero, Vincent Kompany and Fernandinho help stuff it right up Maureen’s fundament, the Etihad faithful created a wall of noise to accompany the dismantling of these most unwelcome of visitors.

First Blood - Sergio opened up his goals account for the new season. Courtesy@MCFC

First Blood – Sergio opened up his goals account for the new season. Courtesy@MCFC

It wasn’t without humour, especially when the Chelsea medics entered the fray – fresh from the controversial demotion of the rather palatable Dr Eva Carneiro.

‘You’re getting sacked in the morning…’ along with ‘Where’s your doctor gone?’ and chants of ‘Eva Eva Eva’ echoed around the enhanced acoustics at the Etihad, as City fans revelled in Mourinho’s obvious discomfort.

Sliding in - Sergio starts as he means to go on. Courtesy@MCFC

Sliding in – Sergio starts as he means to go on. Courtesy@MCFC

Only the heroics of reserve goalkeeper Asmir Begovic kept Chelsea in touch after three superb saves from an insatiable Sergio Aguero. The Superstar striker finally breached the Bosnian’s defences, steering the ball home after wriggling free from a posse of Royal Blue shirts.

Jose was right when he grunted about a ‘fake result’ – in all honesty 6-0 would have been a fairer reflection. City were always One Step Beyond their opponents.

The superlatives had flowed following the Monday Night Massacre of WBA, but disposing of the notorious West End bus parkers and their acidic manager, was always going to be the litmus test of Pellegrini’s early season progress.

Kompany man - Vinny is devoted to City's cause and 2 goals in 2 games don't hurt! Courtesy@MCFC

Kompany man – Vinny is devoted to City’s cause and 2 goals in 2 games don’t hurt! Courtesy@MCFC

Referee Martin Atkinson was arguably Chelsea’s most effective asset, applying one set of rules to City, and another to the Londoners for large parts of the contest.

Bookable offences came and went for the first third of the match before Atkinson showed yellow to Captain Kompany for clipping the dirtiest of the great unwashed, Diego Costa.

The repugnant Brazilian-turned-Spaniard was unrelenting with his sneaky fouls and snide behaviour but, as is usually the case, Kompany and Mangala weren’t fazed.

Kompany-owned - Vinny wasn't taking any flannel off Dirty Diego. Courtesy@MCFC

Kompany-owned – Vinny wasn’t taking any flannel off Dirty Diego. Courtesy@MCFC

Bloodied and bandaged by a yellow card collision with Fernandinho, Costa sought to intimidate City’s indefatigable midfield dynamo as the teams walked off at the interval.

Dino bided his time and let his feet do the talking, smashing a sizzling strike past Begovic in the 85th minute to ice the win, courtesy of a David Silva assist.

Just six minutes earlier, the rejuvenated Kompany had powered a deft header beyond Begovic from Silva’s first assist of the day, virtually killing off Chelsea hopes of a thoroughly undeserved draw.

Dynamic Dino - Fernandinho ensured Chelsea were elbowed out of the points. Courtesy@MCFC

Dynamic Dino – Fernandinho ensured Chelsea were elbowed out of the points. Courtesy@MCFC

The result, and the manner in which it was achieved, bodes well for Pellegrini and a new captivating style of swift tika-taka-with-teeth play.

With the transfer window remaining open for another fortnight, City are now moving quickly to secure more of the ‘high quality’ players promised by Chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak.

Bundesliga Player of The Year Kevin De Bruyne appeared to be saying ‘Auf Wiedersehen’ to the Wolfsburg fans, when he was substituted in the 75th minute of the 2-1 opening day win over Frankfurt – but in a shock development the Belgian international has declared he’s staying in Germany.

Incoming - City's skipper outmuscles Ivanovic and glances City's 2nd goal past Begovic. Courtesy@MCFC

Incoming – City’s skipper outmuscles Ivanovic and glances City’s 2nd goal past Begovic. Courtesy@MCFC

This could see City switch their attentions to Barcelona’s Pedro, who with a buy-out clause of £22m, would be less than half the price of De Bruyne’s nigh on £50m valuation.

It’s an unexpected jolt to City’s transfer plans but Pedro has been a potential Plan B for a few weeks as the De Bruyne saga dragged on. There’s even fresh rumours of trying to resurrect a deal that all City fans would love – Isco from Real Madrid.

First up should be Valencia’s highly rated centre back, Nicolas Otamendi, for a reported £31.4m. The 27-year old Argentine was being lined up by Real Madrid as Sergio Ramos’ replacement, had he moved to Manchester United.

New arrival - Nicolas Otamendi should be a £28.5m buy from Valencia within the next 24 hours.

New arrival – Nicolas Otamendi should be a £28.5m buy from Valencia within the next 24 hours.

The Spanish star put paid to any moist moments in Trafford Borough when he signed a new deal at the Santiago Bernabeu earlier today.

Otamendi is believed to be undergoing a medical in Manchester this evening before signing for City.

Earlier reports of Eliaquim Mangala going to Valencia on a season long loan have proved unfounded, so City now have a wealth of talent at the heart of the defence.

Staying put - Eliaquim Mangala is playing well and staying at the Etihad. Courtesy@MCFC

Staying put – Eliaquim Mangala is playing well and staying at the Etihad. Courtesy@MCFC

Alex Sandro – FC Porto’s 24-year old Brazilian left wing back – is believed to be the last City target. A deal – possibly involving a Portuguese return for City defensive midfielder Fernando – is on the cards. Juventus are also keen on Sandro and City may miss out.

If Pellegrini and City’s Director of Football, Txiki Begiristain can complete the trio of deals it will make City an even more formidable Premier League force – one that could begin to trouble Europe’s elite.

Let the celebrations begin - Aguerrroooo gets the party started at the Etihad. Courtesy@MCFC

Let the celebrations begin – Aguerrroooo gets the party started at the Etihad. Courtesy@MCFC

Goals and glory would turn an already ecstatic Etihad into a veritable ‘House of Fun’, although Jose might not see it that way.

He’s still coming to terms with both his and his club’s Embarrassment!



By David Walker @ReadButNeverRed @djwskyblu


  1. August 17, 2015  8:57 pm by Ian Reply

    Your best yet Dave, mind you Sunday gave you plenty of juicy material, let's hope for a season full of similar such days. Chelsea's official site reeked of Goerbals, Comical Ali or how about David James making a late bid for such delusional pap!
    Keep it up Blues & you dear boy!!!!

    • August 17, 2015  10:43 pm by David Walker Reply

      Unless we get a couple of quality signings I fear we'd be the ones who were delusional thinking we can maintain a challenge on all fronts with the present squad. We need more creativity, more depth and more quality - definitely not just quantity. It can be argued some of the youngsters will get their chance - maybe so and that might not be a bad thing at all - BUT, as things stand I fear Khaldoon has been unable to make good on his end of season review speech.

      That may all sound daft given the joyous performance of yesterday but it's about durability and sustainability - Jeez should I be selling garden fence protective paint?

      Thanks for reading and commenting, always appreciated.

  2. August 17, 2015  9:02 pm by fifthcolumnblue Reply

    I disagree with your remarks about Chelsea losing their dignity - you have to have something before you can lose it!

    One other point - If Diego Costa was so terribly injured, why did his bandage disappear, and why couldn't anyone see even the slightest mark on him? Cheating barsteward even managed a snide elbow on Fernandinho before (and I won't say this lightly) Fernandinho got his revenge in.

    All in all a superb performance from everyone, including the much maligned Mangala, Kolarov and Sagna. If we're showing this kind of form so early in the season, imagine how good we'll be later on, particularly if we add DeBruyne's pace and trickery?

    Not going to get carried away just yet, a couple of injuries and the inevitable bad decisions that always seem to follow us around could still have a big bearing on the season, but at this moment in time I can't see anyone in the PL who can even get near us without spending another £150m - which Stretford might still end up doing.

    See you for the Everton game!

    • August 17, 2015  10:49 pm by David Walker Reply

      I was mindful of the point you make about having to have diginity before losing it when I started tapping away on the keyboard for this piece ;-) You're right in that every City player stepped up and not a single performance that warranted less than a 7, albeit I don't go in for marks out of 10. Excellent from start to finish, the new extended South Stand almost made you want to burst with pride - it could have been messy!

      Apart from Sir Baconface of old, it's always nice to stick one on Maureen - he's such a sour-faced ball of Portuguese pus - you wouldn't want him bursting anywhere nearby. Cheers No 5 - always a pleasure.

  3. August 17, 2015  9:08 pm by Doug Henshaw Reply

    Great read as always Mr Walker. First things first all the city team were brilliant from start to finish. Maureen is an arsehole, & today he is a laughing stock as is the write up of the game by Chelsea FC. City played them off the park destroyed them was a brilliant display by the boys in blue. If its right about De Bruyne staying then finally its put to bed & let's move on to other targets. Great start for us but not getting carried away just yet, but two games in we are looking good.

    • August 17, 2015  10:54 pm by David Walker Reply

      Precisely Doug - very very early days, but 5 points clear of Chelski can't be bad. We need some top quality players to come in before September 1 otherwise we might look a little threadbare in some areas as we go through the winter. If, IF, KDB isn't coming then someone at City needs to be accountable given the time and, presumably effort, that's gone into getting nowhere. Christ they have 3 months to get deals done, having previously identified potential targets. For a club with our aspirations, this window hasn't, as yet been good enough.Cheers fella.

  4. August 17, 2015  9:53 pm by Tony Williams Reply

    Great to see a new tier on your taxpayer bought ground. This might enable you to drop your prices even lower to fill it. I envy you because i could have three season tickets at your stadium for the price of mine. Still now that FFP has been 'relaxed' who needs match day revenue.

    150m spent in a calendar year might get you through the group stage in this years European cup.

    • August 17, 2015  10:59 pm by David Walker Reply

      Sooooooo glad you truly appreciate our Public Private Sector Partnership and are just loving the new Third Tier. If you do your homework you'll see that FFP relaxations have yet to be extended to City by the dodgy UEFA jobsworths, but it'll all come good in the end when FFP is deemed illegal and we get our initial £16.4m back, with interest and punitive payments from Napoleon Platini.
      Could I suggest you try more honey in your diet - it might get rid of that bitter after taste. Either that or stop sucking lemons. Thanks for reading.

  5. August 17, 2015  10:00 pm by The Josh Reply

    You're obviously an idiot, and an Embarrassment to journalism, Dave WanKger.

    • August 17, 2015  11:01 pm by David Walker Reply

      Well, obviously I am Josh - but thanks for pointing it out. At least I can spell WANKER - maybe your wrist was a little limp when you commented. Do try harder next time.

  6. August 17, 2015  10:05 pm by ayodeji Reply

    I as a blue fan feel relieved with KDB's option to stay at wolfsburg cos I don't enjoy d price tag. Every club wants to drill frm our petrodollar on sale of their player to us and they want to negotiate very cheap deal on any player we r interested in selling. Imagine jovetic and dzeko deals. Which of those clubs that sold to us will allow such crazy deals. But anyways would prefer isco, a tested and trusted player right frm malaga shouldered responsibility of the attacking play of malaga, got to madrid and also proved his worth. Dats d kind of player city should go for. KDB is overvalued. I'll rather spend 60 on isco and pedro, than spend 50 on KDB. Imagine the dimension our attack will take with those two in our side. Even the marking ability (agility) also r remarkable. I say otamendi, isco n pedro. Maureen definitely suffers frm diarrhea of the mouth with all the crappy post match comment. First carniero, now fake result, I'm so loving dis

    • August 17, 2015  11:06 pm by David Walker Reply

      KDB must be a quality player - you don't win the Bundesliga Player of the Year too lightly when you have Bayern Munich and even a misfiring Borussia Dortmund as rivals. The transfer market prices are over inflated, as are player wages and the egos that accompany them. However we have to play to market forces, supply and demand and all that stuff. However your suggestion of Isco and Pedro would be more than acceptable, but sadly, most unlikely.

      Let's see how the next two weeks play out and, if we end up not parting with another penny, at least have 12 pts by the end of August. Thanks again.

  7. August 17, 2015  10:15 pm by ronald Reply

    okay city fans the diss was all an evidence of verbal diarrhoea.its only 2 out of 38 games and ua mouths are already sickly!!...keep blurbing shit but the last laugh matters

    • August 17, 2015  11:14 pm by David Walker Reply

      Fair play fella, you can actually spell diarrhoea but think on - he who laughs last...didn't understand the joke. As things stand Chelsea and Jose are a laughing stock, so we'll enjoy the frivolity and belly laughs while the Chelsea manager and website editor seek psychiatric help. That's a bit unfair - my Mum always told me not to mock the afflicted, but sod it, I'll make an exception in this case.

  8. August 17, 2015  10:44 pm by Bernard Quinn Reply

    Just listening to 5live & they are saying KdB still on. He was ambushed at the awards ceremony & has retracted the statement that he is staying at Wolfsburg!

    • August 17, 2015  11:35 pm by David Walker Reply

      GOOD GAWD! You couldn't make it up...Oh yes you can if you work for the Official Chelsea website ;-) Thanks fella.

  9. August 18, 2015  12:06 am by Suzy B Reply

    The writing is as superb as ever and a pleasure to read. Factual and fearless. Very refreshing, in a world where the mass media is still afraid of broadcasting and reporting the truth - for fear of being banned from the ground by Jose in the same Soviet tradition of Ferguson and Dalglish.

    • August 18, 2015  12:18 am by David Walker Reply

      With just a hint of scorn, sarcasm, irony and irreverent humour...if only those nice people at (or is it the Pyongyang Propagandist Periodical?), could teach me how to write 'proper' and in a totally unbiased fashion. Cheers Suzy B.

  10. August 18, 2015  4:21 am by Gt91 Reply

    I am still uttlerly astounded that Chelsea and Maureen can sit and claim it wasn't offisde! MOTD2 highlights (on i player now) stop it and it's clear as day he's a yard offside!

    Also the only dominance I saw at the start of the 2nd half was 10-15 mins of constant ridiculous decisions by the Rev giving free-kick after free-kick whenever a Cheslea player got within 5 yards of a city player! Glad it didn't affect the result in the end but for Maureen to say they got nothing all game is utterly ridiculous!

    Last point, weren't new rules brought in to stop diving players this season? If so why has there been no focus on Hazard & Costas constant attempts at it?!

    Great read though, cheers Dave!

    • August 18, 2015  8:33 am by David Walker Reply

      The beauty of it is that Chelsea and Mourinho showed themselves to be the churlish, graceless and undignified bunch that the rest of football knows them to be. Jose could have defused the whole thing by simply saying his side were eclipsed on the day by a superior opponent. He doesn't 'do' humility, respect or dignity - he's a stain on the game. When he first arrived from Porto he was arrogant but mildly amusing. Not now and not for a long time - he is the embodiment of Chelsea FC - distasteful in the extreme.

      Thanks for your comments.

  11. August 18, 2015  7:05 am by eyituoyo Reply

    dis guy is so dull, dis is why they are not considered good enough to write 4 big companies. If dis is a man city fan or a mourinho hater good but ur derision has 'oh what a relief we unexpectedly best chelsea. thats why u guys remain substandard.

    • August 18, 2015  8:38 am by David Walker Reply

      Can't beat a bit of dis & dat can you? If 'dis' was a sub-standard performance from City and, in the words of Jose '...Chelsea controlled the 2nd half...' you can kiss 'dat' Premier League crown goodbye. As our MP stated we 'dominate' Chelsea in recent times - two wins and two draws from the last four 1st team encounters.

  12. August 18, 2015  7:25 am by GeorgeInIsrael Reply

    Excellent, as ever; I also had a laugh reading the Chelsea FC official report.
    I just don't get it with all these coaches who keep telling us that the result was unfair because their team dominated, had more possession, created more chances, completed more passes, ran more miles, played prettier football, etc., etc. Football is a simple game with one objective - to score the most goals. The team that does that wins the game and, having fulfilled the sole objective of the game is, by definition, the better team. WTF do they teach them on these coaching courses?

    • August 18, 2015  8:42 am by David Walker Reply

      Chelsea have compounded their hugely deserved defeat with their post-match antics and comments. I reckon they could do with a good PR man to show them the error of their ways ;-) Thanks, as ever, for your comments all the way from sunny Israel - have you sorted out that sea view yet in readiness for the CL draw ;-)

      • August 18, 2015  10:22 am by GeorgeInIsrael Reply

        IF Maccabi Tel Aviv get through and IF they get drawn in City's group, I'll get the sea view sorted.

        • August 18, 2015  1:00 pm by David Walker Reply

          If - such a big word for just the two letters! Here's hoping it's two 'ifs' and no 'buts' and Israel here we come.

        • August 19, 2015  11:18 pm by David Walker Reply

          A 0-0 or 1-1 draw and then some dodgy UEFA gimp putting Maccabi with the only team to come from Manchester and you'd better put the kettle on young George. I'll bring the Earl Grey - can't beat a bit of aristocracy!

          • August 20, 2015  7:30 am by GeorgeInIsrael

            The first leg in Basel ended in a 2-2 draw (Maccabi Tel Aviv equalised in the 6th minute of Fergie time!), so it could be that the first IF will happen.
            However, trying to butter me up by calling me "young" won't help; I suspect that I'm older than you...

          • August 21, 2015  12:10 am by David Walker

            Butter you up? Well...I don't know what passes as leisure pursuits in downtown Tel Aviv but we don't have any of that nonsense here in the UK.Lurpak goes on toast, teacakes and the occasional muffin...which brings me back to my original point...;-)

  13. August 18, 2015  11:36 am by Richard Cooper Reply

    Super Monday was followed by Super Sunday.
    Extremely good team performance and would be unfair to pick a MOTM but special mention for Mangala, Sagna and Fernandinho.
    Even the not always palatable Mr Shearer said the only 'fake' part of the result was that it wasn't 4 or 5 nil !
    As I have said to friends etc and you have said above when Jose first came he had arrogance tempered by humour but now his jibes and comments (including those about Arsene etc etc ) are to put it politely boring and uncalled for - enough said on that topic !
    Like Suarez before him Diego Costa will be remembered not for his talent but for his sneaky, snidey and unacceptable tactics. As has been said - where did the bandage go ?
    On MOTD2 I think they said City played the Dr Who theme - I didn't hear it but cheeky and witty if true.
    The transfer situation seems somewhat confusing - Will KDB do an Autobahn U Turn ? If Otamendi comes where does that leave Denayer ? Thought he signed a contract on the understanding he would get 1st team chances. Then there is Pedro, Isco in the "mix".
    I won't look at Newsnow or I will be joining Jose at 'Home for the Bewildered' and I wouldn't want that

    • August 18, 2015  1:36 pm by David Walker Reply

      Looks like KdB is back on and Otamendi deal revised with City paying £31.7m and Mangala staying at the Etihad. I think Denayer will go on a season long loan to another PL club - maybe Everton if they sell Stones - and then be back with us next season. He's signed a five year deal and is destined to be a future star at City. It's a novelty to have people saying nice things about City, let's not give them any reason to stop. Thanks RC.

  14. August 18, 2015  10:30 pm by Stephen Reply

    Great read David. I am having to backtrack on my offer of a taxi to airport for Kolarov as outstanding start to season and great great signs of blossoming partnership with sterling. Love being wrong if city get better. That said all were superb on Sunday and stadium looked amazing. You lucky ppl!!! As for moaninho I just look at him and think of the plastic jesus song in cool hand luke as he is do fake and horrible but in his own mind and that of deluded others he is a god. That said chelsea will get better but 5 pt lead is a lovely start with fluid football and solid defence. Keep back 4 unchanged for everton and v confidrnt of 3 more. Good luck for season David and look forward to more reads. Thanks

    • August 19, 2015  9:21 am by David Walker Reply

      AK47 has started the season extremely well - along with the rest of the team - it's just a case of maintaining this level of performance. You make a great point about maintaining a steady back four - this is one area which disrupts the team if there is continual 'rotation' of players. It will be interesting to see how MP operates his defence this season, especially at CB where we are going to have a glut of talent in Kompany Mangala Otamendi Denayer and Demichelis. Sagna has been superb at RB, so has he earned the right to stay there or does Zaba come back after his 'rest' following the Copa America?

      Off to Goodison now, one of our traditional bogey grounds. It won't be easy but we're in great form and, why not ;-) Thanks Stephen (I still haven't forgotten about the pic for the lad).

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